2 years ago, around this time, I had a MRI scan of my head.
No biggie, right?
That’s what I kept telling myself. I told myself that most 16 year olds have scans of their heads, and that I would be fine.
3 months later, I found out I had a tumor in my pituitary gland (my parents had known a week after I had the MRI, they hid it from me for their own selfish reasons… and because they knew I’d freak out.)
To be honest, I named my tumor Frederick to make the situation seem less… stressful.
(This picture is to help you understand what I’m talking about)
Surgery came and went, and all the mind blowing headaches, gaining weight, feeling sick all the time, and feeling tired all left with Frederick. I was so happy.
Last fall, some symptoms came back.
Tomorrow morning I’m going in for another MRI.
To be honest, I’m not scared. Why?
The surgery was not that big of a deal.. Well, not to me. I went to sleep, woke up, had to stay in the hospital for 8 days, and went home, and then everything was fine. I didn’t have to get my head shaved, or anything scary like that, yet I still had brain surgery.
The hospital, although I thought it was hell myself, was not that bad of a place. I was the youngest patient on my floor, so the nurses actually visited with me and hung out with me. My brother loved it the most because they treated him like a king there. He could ask for anything and they would give it to him. Me on the other hand.. Well.. You try getting woken up every hour on the hour, and asked the same four questions (What’s your name, how old are you, when’s your birthday, do you know where you are?) and having blood work done at 2 am and 2 pm every day, and then let me know if you would have loved that. I certainly didn’t. I loved my nurses though, they made me cool drinks with juice and sprite, and snuck ice cream in.
I didn’t always think like this. Before the surgery, I thought to myself, ‘What did I do that was so wrong that God would punish me this way?’
Truth is, he wasn’t punishing me. Everyone has to go through their own trials to become stronger. This was mine. The surgery made me have a new take in life. I began to have my perspective on life change dramatically, and I’m very glad it happened. No, I would never wish this on anyone else, but I’m glad I was able to experience it.
Now, to experience it again? Hm. It’s unsettling, but always, always a possibility. They told me when I first agreed to have the surgery that the tumor would more than likely grow back, unless I radiated it. Once I radiate it, I won’t be able to have children.
Do you see my dilemma?
I decided to do the surgery, and take the risks that may or may not happen.
As I go in for the MRI tomorrow, I know that whatever happens is going to benefit me in a way that I may not know now, but I will know eventually.
I know this is a more personal post, but I felt like sharing it. Just know that no matter how hard the situation you may be going through is, it’s been placed in your life for a reason. You may not see how it effects your life instantly, but in the end, you’ll look back and realize just how much that experience changed you for the better.
No worries, I’ll keep you updated, and I promise my next post will be full of laughter and happiness, to the max.
<3 Chels
No biggie, right?
That’s what I kept telling myself. I told myself that most 16 year olds have scans of their heads, and that I would be fine.
3 months later, I found out I had a tumor in my pituitary gland (my parents had known a week after I had the MRI, they hid it from me for their own selfish reasons… and because they knew I’d freak out.)
To be honest, I named my tumor Frederick to make the situation seem less… stressful.
(This picture is to help you understand what I’m talking about)
Surgery came and went, and all the mind blowing headaches, gaining weight, feeling sick all the time, and feeling tired all left with Frederick. I was so happy.
Last fall, some symptoms came back.
Tomorrow morning I’m going in for another MRI.
To be honest, I’m not scared. Why?
The surgery was not that big of a deal.. Well, not to me. I went to sleep, woke up, had to stay in the hospital for 8 days, and went home, and then everything was fine. I didn’t have to get my head shaved, or anything scary like that, yet I still had brain surgery.
The hospital, although I thought it was hell myself, was not that bad of a place. I was the youngest patient on my floor, so the nurses actually visited with me and hung out with me. My brother loved it the most because they treated him like a king there. He could ask for anything and they would give it to him. Me on the other hand.. Well.. You try getting woken up every hour on the hour, and asked the same four questions (What’s your name, how old are you, when’s your birthday, do you know where you are?) and having blood work done at 2 am and 2 pm every day, and then let me know if you would have loved that. I certainly didn’t. I loved my nurses though, they made me cool drinks with juice and sprite, and snuck ice cream in.
I didn’t always think like this. Before the surgery, I thought to myself, ‘What did I do that was so wrong that God would punish me this way?’
Truth is, he wasn’t punishing me. Everyone has to go through their own trials to become stronger. This was mine. The surgery made me have a new take in life. I began to have my perspective on life change dramatically, and I’m very glad it happened. No, I would never wish this on anyone else, but I’m glad I was able to experience it.
Now, to experience it again? Hm. It’s unsettling, but always, always a possibility. They told me when I first agreed to have the surgery that the tumor would more than likely grow back, unless I radiated it. Once I radiate it, I won’t be able to have children.
Do you see my dilemma?
I decided to do the surgery, and take the risks that may or may not happen.
As I go in for the MRI tomorrow, I know that whatever happens is going to benefit me in a way that I may not know now, but I will know eventually.
I know this is a more personal post, but I felt like sharing it. Just know that no matter how hard the situation you may be going through is, it’s been placed in your life for a reason. You may not see how it effects your life instantly, but in the end, you’ll look back and realize just how much that experience changed you for the better.
No worries, I’ll keep you updated, and I promise my next post will be full of laughter and happiness, to the max.
<3 Chels
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2 comments:
Chels!!! Thank you for sharing all of that, personal as it was. I didn't exactly realize your 'dilemma' with getting it radiated/not having children. Wow...You are a strong girl. I don't know how I would handle that news. I will keep you in my prayers. Love you girl!!!
I am really sorry to hear that. I had a really good friend who fought Cancer on and off for 5 years and saw how bad things can get with something so serious. I hope that things work out.
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