Silence is a girls loudest cry….

It’s pretty dangerous when I get quiet. I’m either..

1. Over thinking

2. Tired of waiting

3. About to blow up

4. In need of a hug

5. Falling apart

6. Crying inside

7. All of the above

It’s hard to tell when this happens though, because I like to play off that I’m fine, when all I really want to do is cry.

Cry over someone who isn’t worth my time, but because I liked them as a friend, and liked that friendship, I have a hard time letting go. Cry over the fact that I’m letting said person get to me so hard. This isn’t like me at all, well, at least I don’t come off that way. Don’t get me wrong, I am usually a strong person. I don’t usually let anyone get to me, but I’ve discovered that even the strongest people have to break down sometimes.

I’ve never really been able to get that strong exterior back. I’ve always managed to have a crack somewhere, and when just the right person comes and taps on it, it shatters.

People keep asking me if I’m okay. Hah. If I wasn’t okay, do you really think that I would tell you? I mean, if I’m being completely honest here, I am not the type of person who seeks help. Only because I don’t want to be a burden to someone else. There’s a lot going on with me right now, and I keep trying to push it out of my mind, not let it affect me, not think about it. I like to be there for people, not myself. I like listening to problems and figuring out a solution to said problem, unless it’s my own. No, don’t even try to get it out of me, because I won’t tell you. I’ll just play it off that I’m fine and you’re over exaggerating, and that the best thing for you to do is drop it.

Let’s just say, I’m very excited that I won’t be at work for the next two days.

Going to go have a much needed break for a bit. I’ll post something more happy and thoughtful on Saturday. I just wanted to write down my current thoughts, because they’re driving me insane.

-Chels